i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
