i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My ass is underappreciated
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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