His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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