dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
