I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
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