Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
