I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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