We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
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I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
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Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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