Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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