I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
