Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
