I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
