I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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