Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
