My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize