i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
is that a dick in a sweater?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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