Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
