I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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