exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
