her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
