You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
