a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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