I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
you had me at cake vodka
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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