Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
