Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
