I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
