Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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