covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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