Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
