Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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