Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
