Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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