My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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