3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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