Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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