Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
