Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
and i looked up. we had an audience...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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