you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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