talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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