she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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