Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
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