he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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