sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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