Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
