my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
