last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
you had me at cake vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize