Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Randomize
