Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
