You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize