I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
