how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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