i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
