Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
