That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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