I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
We need to rekindle our bromance
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
