____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
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