I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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