playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
