He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
so that wasnt chicken after all
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
