I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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