Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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