at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
