when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
