is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
