dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
