i jhust puked up my retainher.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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